Tori Yarbrough
Life Coach

Tori Yarbrough


Options to Motivation by Self-Flagellation

Written by: Tori Yarbrough

  • Have you ever asked yourself questions like:
  • "Why am I in this situation, again?
  • "Why am I with this guy or girl?"
  • "Why am I staying in this job that I hate?"
  • "Why do I put up with being treated like this?"
  • These are just rhetorical questions, right?---Not True!

Isn't it funny how we are much more willing to believe we are just "screwed up" rather than believe we might: actually have reasons, good reasons, for what we do.

We go to our churches or study various spiritual teachings, agreeing that the Spirit of God (whatever that might mean to us) is within. Yet, we continually doubt that we could actually know why we do the things we do.

I have found, through using and practicing the Option Method for over 25 years, that the great teachers and masters were right .... we do have our own answers within us. In fact, we are very rational beings with reasons for everything we do. Even when we think we are doing something that is self-defeating, or even self-destructive, somewhere within our belief system we think (believe) it is the best way to take care of ourselves.

So it appears the beliefs are wherein lies the "rub." A wonderful example of this is how many of us use, or have used, unhappiness in order to become happy. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? .. but here are a few examples:

  • We use fear and shame to keep ourselves on a diet, so that we will get thin and be happy.
  • We feel bad about not having what we want, to motivate ourselves to get it.
  • We feel bad about not being how we think we should be, to make ourselves change.
  • We get unhappy with things we have, to justify wanting something else.
  • We even get unhappy with others, to get them to be more how we want them to be.

In short, we spend a lot of energy being unhappy now, in order to be happy later. The fallacy in the reasoning, of course, just how unhappy does one have to get in order to become happy?

The fallacy in the reasoning, of course, - just how unhappy does one have to get in order to become happy?

Bruce DiMarsico, the founder of the Option Method, said, "everything you do in order yo be happy."

With the Option Method, I have the great pleasure of watching people I work with untangle their own personal webs of erroneous beliefs. I have seen person after person get free of this pattern simply by exploring and discovering what they are believing that no longer is true for them. It may have seemed true from their perspective as, say, a 5-year-old, but it no longer holds water.

The amazing thing about this whole process is that each client I work with their own answers within themselves. As I have assured many people, "I don't have your answers (it's a big enough job finding my own)- but what I do have are some excellent questions, and a safe, non-judgmental attitude for you to explore within."

After using Option to uncover the beliefs behind one's unhappiness (or ineffectiveness, etc.) we become more and more like happy detectives in our day to day lives - flushing out the ideas that in actuality are keeping us from our natural state of happiness.

Tori Yarbrough. R.N., BA. , an innovator in the body-mind field has been practicing the Option Method since 1986. She has taught classes in it throughout California, Colorado, and Hawaii. If you can remember a time in your life when you were really happy. Tori can provide gentle respectful tools to help you get there again. For more information on classes or for scheduling private Option sessions, please call Tori at 225-9587.

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